card-num-220-500x385

Do Networking Events Make You Anxious? Let’s Fix That.

Hey there!

I was talking with a performer at a voice over meetup, and he confided in me that he absolutely hated the type of event we were at.

“I hate it. Just hate it.”

We had a chat about what he hated about it, and I think we may have found a solution.


Hope this helps!

David

Subscribe to my list

All Episodes

One Step At A Time

Five Ways To Have An Excellent Coffee Date With Me

Five Ways To Have A Crappy Coffee Date With Me

Taking Advantage Of The Wisdom Of The Tribe

How To Be A World Class Complainer

The False Nobility Of The Struggle

Watch Out – The Rules Are Going To Change

“Show Me The Secret, Daddy!”

Coaching vs Consulting vs Facilitating

The Perils of Live Performance And Why Jeremy Kappell Should Not Have Been Fired

Let’s Welcome To The Stage…Failure!

Don’t Confuse Price With Value

Whiteboards In The Hallways

Go Wake Up Your Luck

Playing and Planning

The Two Things Most Talent Try to Accomplish Way Too Soon

10,000 Hours To Become Good At Something? Not Really.

The Curse of Knowledge

The Trick Charlie Munger Uses To Make Better Decisions

Everyone’s A Customer, Not Just Your Customers

“What do you mean, you’re a ‘process guy’?”

Pay Attention To Your Storytelling, Not Removing Your Breaths

How To Conquer FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

The Problem In Every Commercial Script

The Job In Every Commercial Script

The Secret In Every Commercial Script

How To Pick Your Stage Name

Voice Over Is REALLY Hard. Until It Isn’t.

Helping Make Resolutions Stick

ACX Jobs: They’re ALL SAG-AFTRA-Friendly

Non-Union? You Can Still Open An AFTRA H&R Account. What?

Who Says You Need To “Feel Like It?”

Are You Engaged?

Your Day Job Might Just Be Worth Keeping For A Bit Longer

Want To Learn Something Really Well? Teach It To Others

Don’t Confuse What Works With What You Like

The Lost Keys And The Microphone In My Elevator

My Insane Backup System Plus Two Helpful Tips

What Open Loops Are And Why They Work So Well

Two More Things For Which You Can Use Open Loops

Three Things Not To Say Or Do…When Trying To Learn Something New

Front Burner and Back Burner Project Management

How To Properly List The Accents and Dialects You Perform

My SAG-AFTRA Presentation On VO Demos (Part 1)

My SAG-AFTRA Presentation On VO Demos (Part 2)

A Simple, One-Word Decision-Making Question To Ask Yourself

Ready, Shoot…Aim

How You Can Use The MVP Model As A Performer

How Lazy Can You Be?

Avoid The Struggle Porn

The Robocall Equivalent Of Unsubscribe

Saying Goodbye To A “Failure”

Making Your Links Irresistible

HTTPS Is Not Just For Banks – It’s For You

The Threat That Made Me Create a New Page For LAME

The Resource You Must Guard Most Carefully

How New Media Is Using The Oldest Ad Model Ever

“You Could Be Hit By A Bus!”

Killing Customers With Kindness

I Found Out What She Was Podcasting About

How I Answered Voices.com’s Inquiry

Turning Mountains Into Molehills

Motivation: Your Three Big Needs In A Cool Little Package

Go Ahead. Multitask. But Try It Like This.

The Prodigy Game Doesn’t Deserve This Treatment

I Don’t Want To Go Blind

What Fair Markets Are, And Why Voices.com Isn’t One

Trevor’s Three A’s From Apple On Killing Customers With Kindness

Getting Ready vs. Getting Started

You’ll Never Believe Who Got Rejected By Harvard

There Is No Failure, Only Feedback

Who Is Your Most Dangerous Adversary?

73 Videos In, My First Hater Appears

If You’re The Smartest Person In The Room, Do This ASAP

Your Glasses And Crucial Laptop Positioning Info

One More Insanely Over-engineered Piece Of Gear: My UPS

The Crazy Backward Way IKEA Prices Their Stuff

Voices.com Complained To YouTube That I Violated Their Privacy

The Gig Economy: RIP?

For Your Health: Not Perfect. Just Better.

Celebrate Your Isolation!

Mr. Wonderful Is Actually More Wonderful Than I Thought

Let’s Finally Close The Digital Literacy Gender Gap

The Guaranteed Way To Completely Avoid Criticism

The Two Things People Judge About You Within Seconds

Prioritizing…Nashville Style

Are You Committed? Or Just…Interested?

Audible Retail Samples: Why They Suck And Why It Doesn’t Really Matter

How To Voice Copy That’s Set In Italics

Dyslexia, And The Palindromic Poem. The Wha?

Increase Your Chances Of Being Seen And Heard On Facebook

Jamie Has Some Thoughts About Fiverr

Is Simply Discouraging Distracted Driving Enough?

“Young People Are Just Smarter.”

The Real Purpose Of The “Can You Hear Me?” Phone Scam

Beware Of Overkill

Laying Down The Perfect Slate

An AMA Preview: The Word “Ethnic” – A Slur, Or An Essential Adjective?

10 Rules of Profitable Self Discipline from Napoleon Hill

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 1)

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 2)

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 3)

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 4)

AMA Answers Part 5 Plus A Medical Warning

Last AMA Answers (#6): Gear, Services and Success

A 7-Word Reminder: “Don’t correct people when it matters little.”

Do You Have A Plan? And Is It The Right One?

What’s Your Next Big Move? Are You Ready?

Build Your Future On Your Own Platform, Not Someone Else’s

I’m Leaving Facebook: Why Groups and FB Live No Longer Spark Joy

Time To Accept That I’ve Failed At Something – Happily

Crowdfunding Without The Internet: Pulitzer And The Statue Of Liberty

The Amazing Power Of Recognition And Badging

Might We Have A Possible Cause For Alzheimer’s?

Why Podcasting And Radio Are Out Of Whack

Value Enthusiasm, But Value Persistence More

Ten Ways To Make Money With Podcasts Besides Ads

One Quick Question To Find Out How Important Something Actually Is

The Workflow For Producing These Videos (So Far) Part 1

Why Not Wade? And…Why Not You?

Audiobook Narrators: How Paymasters Work, And The One I Recommend

Why Gen Z And Millennials’ Love For Audiobooks Is Crucial

American Idol: It’s All About Story, Not Just Singing

Less Beating Yourself Up, More Talking Yourself Up

Resist Oversharing. Instead, Start A Dialogue.

Vocal Care: It’s All About What Works For You

3 Biases You Should Be Aware Of

3 More Biases You Should Also Be Aware Of

Wow. People Really Grokked Biases. Let’s Tackle Fallacies.

Three More Fallacies You Need To Watch For

What’s Your Imprint?

Fallacy Follies, Volume 3

Two Last Big Creativity-Crippling Fallacies

Fail Sooner To Succeed Sooner

A New Lead Source For Performers: Voice Assistants And Smart Speakers

A Great Way To Handle Trolls and Haters

Quantity Does Not Usually Equal Quality

Is Facebook Truly A Monopoly? No More Than Microsoft Was.

Fear Of The Unknown, Or The Day Before My Surgery

A Strange Aspect To Performing That Should Be Cause For Protest, But Isn’t

Want To Grow? Don’t Go It Alone.

How Am I Doing? I’m Gobsmacked. That’s How Am I Doing.

Why I Give My Agents 10% Of Everything

Not Just Explainer Videos, But Video That Explain Things Spectacularly

Mental Floss To The Rescue: Skills You Can Pick Up On YouTube

What’s Better Than Willpower? Grit.

Regarding Apple’s App Store: Be Careful What You Wish For, Pepper

Of COURSE You Wonder What Porter’s Five Forces Are. Who Doesn’t?

Don’t Waste Your Time: Talk Shows Aren’t Meant To Be Fair

Sooner Or Later, I’m Really Going To Tick You Off

Just Because You Can Do Something Doesn’t Mean You Should

Wait, What? Audacity Records In The Background?!

Enjoy Your First Booking. Pay Close Attention To The Next Three.

Pattern Interruption And The Musicality Of Voice Over

Do You Still Have A Landline? Is It POTS? Wait, What’s POTS?

Increase Your VO Accuracy, And You’ll Increase Your VO Profits

Age Range Isn’t Really A Valid Metric For VO

What Is The Overton Window?

How To Stop Jealousy From Killing Your Progress

Even The Bible (And Game Of Thrones) Has One-Star Reviews

How Much Is Enough To Make Per Hour?

With Royalty Share Plus, ACX Makes Hybrid Stipends Official

Wait, Vices Can Be Good For Your Health?

What A Lovely Thing To Discover: Praise From CourVO

I Figured Out What I Provide: The Onboarding Performers Don’t Get

You Don’t Need Permission To Care Or Contribute

It’s Not Just You. It’s The Superstars, Too.

Do You Sometimes Think Irrationally? Maybe. Here’s How To Stop It.

The Struggle Of Announcer-y Versus Non-Announcer-y Voice Over

How My VAs Support Me And My Team

What Exactly Is “The Cloud?”

The Often “Most Difficult” Concept I Teach

Please Unsubscribe From This List. But Don’t Do This One Destructive, Lazy Thing.

Don’t Mistake The Joy Of Knowing For The Joy Of Doing

Why Giving Yourself Some Simple Homework Can Be Life-Changing

One Weird Trick I Do That Makes My Note-Taking Superhuman

The Worst Thing About The Biggest Money-Making Entertainment Category

What Can We Grab From A Schedule This Strict?

Get Better At Executing Today’s Plan By Starting Last Night

How To Create Useful, Organized Audition File Names

Where To Find Related PDFs For Audiobooks on Audible

I’m Halfway Finished. What Have You Valued Most? What Can I Do Better?

Our Digital Attention Span Is Incredibly Brief

“Serves You Right!” She Actually Has No Idea How Right.

Create A Safe Environment For Self-Improvement

Why I Use One Single Channel For Crucial Communication

The Even Cheaper AT-2020 USB Plus Microphone?

Fred Willard (and Billy West) On Quickly Creating Authentic VO Characters

Leo Makes Your Searching Spectacular

On Asking For Things Performers Can’t Do

How To Battle The Urge of “Efficiency”

One More Best-Of-Breed Way To Brilliantly Complain

Changing Audacity’s Sampling Rate To 48,000 Hz

10 Words Of Encouragement When You’re Stuck

Seek/Give Mentorship That’s Appropriate To The Journey

Two Cases Where You Might Not Want To Simply “Follow Your Passion”

Having Fun With Headphone Volume

Please Stop Rushing To Perform

Something To Consider: Everyone’s Internal Menu

One Crazy Key To Creativity: Pure, Unadulterated Boredom

For The Sheer Joy Of It

The Most Commonly Consumed Media Is…!

What’s Dangerous For Us To Care About

Please, Clever Copywriters…Stop Using This Term

Wait, Wait…What? They Actually Listened?!

Why You Should Take The Same Classes Twice

How Your Character’s Menu Informs Your Performance Choices

What Shouldn’t Be Your Metric For VO Success

Someone Awesome Who’s Also Rising To A 365-Day Challenge

Union Or Not, Start With Union Rates

O. M. G. Look What Matt Zurbo Did!

So Where Will That Huge Facebook Fine End Up?

The Root Words of “Typecast”

Avoid That One Obvious “That Worked” Sound We Make

Why Union Members Can Audition For Non-Union Work

200 Auditions. 1 Booking. A Ghost. Really?

I Can’t Do One Thing I’m Asked To Do Every Single Day

One Of Your Secret Weapons: Agility

Do Networking Events Make You Anxious? Let’s Fix That.

Project X Is Just About Ready. I’m A Bit Giddy.

The Difference Between Mansplaining and Advice?

Too Late, Melissa. You Already Are.

Help Me Solve A Lovely Mystery!

Speeding Up The Playback On The Audible App

Why Those Other Casting Sites Usually Aren’t Worth It

Raw YouTube Captioning

hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
and just a couple days ago I was at a
voiceover of performers meet up happens
every month here in Los Angeles
it’s called voices anonymous hi David
and it basically is a get-together of
like-minded people people that are
working in the industry want to work in
the industry maybe have been working for
a while we have some teachers in there
we have some students in there we have
some people who are not in class or
teaching class but just generally doing
the work it’s kind of fun I love it Bob
and Patty do a great job with it and I
was talking with one of the attendees at
this past this past month meeting and he
admitted to me that he absolutely hates
these kinds of events just hates them
and my first question was well why are
you here if you hate them well I feel
like I have to be at them because if not
then I’m gonna miss something so fear of
missing out which we’ve done another
video on but I said why do you hate it
and his answer was really interesting he
said it’s a crapshoot I never know
whether the person that I introduced
myself to is going to be interesting or
not
and that was a moment of really harsh
honesty that I found refreshing and I
told him so I said well that’s really
honest I mean you know you most people
wouldn’t say that she they’d say oh I’m
just you know I’m shy by nature or I
don’t know ever know what to say and he
goes well I don’t usually know what to
say either but but usually I’m I’m much
more anxious about the idea that the
person that I do represent you know or
introduce myself to will spend the next
hour drawing my ear off and you know
that’s happened to all of us right we we
don’t necessarily want to take the time
that we have allotted for that
particular event and somehow you know
our idea waste it with someone who isn’t
going to be useful to us in the future
or isn’t going to be interesting to talk
to or it’s going to bore us or is going
to and so part of that is understanding
how to enter and exit a conversation
gracefully which is a subject for
another video
but the other thing is and he said this
I don’t know what to say and I usually
have something to ask or talk about when
I start and oftentimes I’m the one
that’s approached as opposed to me
approaching someone I try but before I
ever get a chance to do it somebody’s
coming up to me and so when I do get a
chance to do it I love using an opener
like you know I’ve been thinking about
this a lot over the last few weeks and I
wonder what your opinion is of this and
then asking a question that opens the
conversation in our world you know like
do events like this make you anxious
what’s the best voiceover job you ever
had I’ve been talking to people about it
like crazy or I actually saw an article
with some suggestions on it let me see
what they say oh if you could choose any
new performance skill to learn what
would it be what’s your definition of
success I love that because I certainly
have one you guys know it you don’t do
more of what works less of what doesn’t
and figure out what works and what
doesn’t but if you have some of that in
your back pocket the little thing that
you need to overcome with that
is that it might feel contrived that oh
I had this you know cold opening you
know icebreaker in my back pocket and I
wanted to use it you know just ask it
naturally and ask it with real intention
of understanding the result and
understanding how that fits in with you
because you know you never know you
might be really surprised at the answers
that some people give you and also you
know there’s lots of other options for
how to approach that hey could you
settle an argument for me I you know
I’ve been been arguing with my best
friend about this for a while and then
present something or you know the kind
of the kind of thing that I’ve been
asked a lot is how did you get started
where did you learn all this stuff why
do you like that particular microphone
very specific things but what it reminds
me of is that people sometimes have an
issue with just opening up and being
vulnerable at events like that they’re
like I’m frightened to talk I don’t want
to waste my time I don’t want to waste
somebody else’s time and if you just
give yourself the permission to be
curious and interested and to engage in
what other people are thinking and doing
and be a good listener right when you
ask questions let them talk
and ask them more questions about that
when you do that you start to learn all
kinds of things and the anxiety kind of
drops away because now you’ve got a
mission now you’ve got a path to follow
so I hope that helps I don’t know how
many of you are nervous or anxious when
you go to networking events or when you
go to workshops or when you go to
classes let me know in the comments
below what your life is like when you go
to live events or when you go to online
events what’s it like for you is it easy
for you to open up or is it tough for
you to open up and really explore why
let me know why I want to know because
it’s fascinating to me you know pretend
we’re at a meet-up and I’ve asked you
what is it that you like or don’t like
about events like this right but by the
way please do that not on YouTube if
that’s where you’re watching this video
but on
the website because and we give you the
link in the YouTube video so you can
find that the website is where all my
tools are and where things are sane and
moderated I’d really prefer that you you
do things there if you’d like to be on
my list I’d love to have you there’s a
box below this video that says join the
list and we’d love to have you on that
list and if you’d like to see the latest
video I’ve done I’ve got one very
special coming up for you I’m about
ready to do an event with my coaches and
when I’m done with that event I’m gonna
share a video with you and we’re moving
forward with project decks so it’s gonna
be a lot of fun anyway if you’d like to
know when that happens join my list but
if you’d like to see the latest video
I’ve produced then go ahead click on
that frame there and YouTube will play
it for you I’m David H Lawrence xvii I
thank you so much for watching and I
will talk to you tomorrow.

6 Responses to Do Networking Events Make You Anxious? Let’s Fix That.

  1. David Wandelt August 8, 2019 at 2:32 am #

    I have learned that, to be effective at conversation of all types, it’s not enough merely to behave *as if* you’re interested in the person you’re talking with. You need to cultivate a true interest, then let that interest express itself. People *are* an endless supply of curiosities, if *you* are a naturally curious person. And that’s what makes great, unforced, productive conversation.

  2. Paula Faye Leinweber August 8, 2019 at 7:28 am #

    I love and dread these events in equal measure, but the “love” usually wins out. Having been painfully shy in my younger days, I learned from my mom (thanks Mom) that the easiest way to talk to someone for the first time is to ask them about themselves, as people love to talk about themselves (usually). David, I love your suggestions on having a few ice-breaker questions in mind too, it does really help when the stock questions get a bit stale (where are you from, etc.)

  3. Natalie Winters August 8, 2019 at 10:14 am #

    What makes me anxious about attending networking events is, I never know what to say when people ask me about myself – in regards to acting and voiceover work. I feel like a fraud. That being said, I haven’t been to the meetup in a while and am planning on going this month.

  4. Kendra August 8, 2019 at 11:22 am #

    This helped quite a bit – thanks! Also, please *do* make that video about exiting a conversation gracefully. :)

  5. Kirsten August 8, 2019 at 11:47 am #

    I agree with Natalie, I find it difficult to know what to say when people ask me about myself. At these kind of events my brain just seizes up, and I either have nothing to say or I prattle on. I much rather ask people about themselves. I like the idea of prepping a few unusual open ended questions before heading out to an event.

  6. David Wood August 10, 2019 at 6:45 am #

    The timing of this video was serendipitous for me. I’m going to a Johnny Heller workshop in MI tomorrow and I’m a bit terrified. I also hate networking. My issue is the opposite. I’m always concerned others will find me boring or a fraud. I like the “back pocket” questions idea. I’ve got four hours in the car to prep some. Thanks!

Leave a Reply