Resist Oversharing. Instead, Start A Dialogue.

Hey there!

A comment came up in a recent Pro Connect Live monthly accountability and support session with my lovely VO Pros, where one of them recently landed an agent via a cold submission, and mentioned that the agent appreciated the fact that the Pro did not give the agent her entire life story in that initial email.

She nailed the meeting…and landed the agent.

And that’s a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over and over: resist the urge to shower new contacts with exhaustive information. Here’s what to do instead.

(Click/tap ↑↑↑↑↑↑ that red YouTube button to subscribe to my channel. You’ll get notified when I release new videos.)

Hope this helps!


All Episodes

One Step At A Time

Five Ways To Have An Excellent Coffee Date With Me

Five Ways To Have A Crappy Coffee Date With Me

Taking Advantage Of The Wisdom Of The Tribe

How To Be A World Class Complainer

The False Nobility Of The Struggle

Watch Out – The Rules Are Going To Change

“Show Me The Secret, Daddy!”

Coaching vs Consulting vs Facilitating

The Perils of Live Performance And Why Jeremy Kappell Should Not Have Been Fired

Let’s Welcome To The Stage…Failure!

Don’t Confuse Price With Value

Whiteboards In The Hallways

Go Wake Up Your Luck

Playing and Planning

The Two Things Most Talent Try to Accomplish Way Too Soon

10,000 Hours To Become Good At Something? Not Really.

The Curse of Knowledge

The Trick Charlie Munger Uses To Make Better Decisions

Everyone’s A Customer, Not Just Your Customers

“What do you mean, you’re a ‘process guy’?”

Pay Attention To Your Storytelling, Not Removing Your Breaths

How To Conquer FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

The Problem In Every Commercial Script

The Job In Every Commercial Script

The Secret In Every Commercial Script

How To Pick Your Stage Name

Voice Over Is REALLY Hard. Until It Isn’t.

Helping Make Resolutions Stick

ACX Jobs: They’re ALL SAG-AFTRA-Friendly

Non-Union? You Can Still Open An AFTRA H&R Account. What?

Who Says You Need To “Feel Like It?”

Are You Engaged?

Your Day Job Might Just Be Worth Keeping For A Bit Longer

Want To Learn Something Really Well? Teach It To Others

Don’t Confuse What Works With What You Like

The Lost Keys And The Microphone In My Elevator

My Insane Backup System Plus Two Helpful Tips

What Open Loops Are And Why They Work So Well

Two More Things For Which You Can Use Open Loops

Three Things Not To Say Or Do…When Trying To Learn Something New

Front Burner and Back Burner Project Management

How To Properly List The Accents and Dialects You Perform

My SAG-AFTRA Presentation On VO Demos (Part 1)

My SAG-AFTRA Presentation On VO Demos (Part 2)

A Simple, One-Word Decision-Making Question To Ask Yourself

Ready, Shoot…Aim

How You Can Use The MVP Model As A Performer

How Lazy Can You Be?

Avoid The Struggle Porn

The Robocall Equivalent Of Unsubscribe

Saying Goodbye To A “Failure”

Making Your Links Irresistible

HTTPS Is Not Just For Banks – It’s For You

The Threat That Made Me Create a New Page For LAME

The Resource You Must Guard Most Carefully

How New Media Is Using The Oldest Ad Model Ever

“You Could Be Hit By A Bus!”

Killing Customers With Kindness

I Found Out What She Was Podcasting About

How I Answered’s Inquiry

Turning Mountains Into Molehills

Motivation: Your Three Big Needs In A Cool Little Package

Go Ahead. Multitask. But Try It Like This.

The Prodigy Game Doesn’t Deserve This Treatment

I Don’t Want To Go Blind

What Fair Markets Are, And Why Isn’t One

Trevor’s Three A’s From Apple On Killing Customers With Kindness

Getting Ready vs. Getting Started

You’ll Never Believe Who Got Rejected By Harvard

There Is No Failure, Only Feedback

Who Is Your Most Dangerous Adversary?

73 Videos In, My First Hater Appears

If You’re The Smartest Person In The Room, Do This ASAP

Your Glasses And Crucial Laptop Positioning Info

One More Insanely Over-engineered Piece Of Gear: My UPS

The Crazy Backward Way IKEA Prices Their Stuff Complained To YouTube That I Violated Their Privacy

The Gig Economy: RIP?

For Your Health: Not Perfect. Just Better.

Celebrate Your Isolation!

Mr. Wonderful Is Actually More Wonderful Than I Thought

Let’s Finally Close The Digital Literacy Gender Gap

The Guaranteed Way To Completely Avoid Criticism

The Two Things People Judge About You Within Seconds

Prioritizing…Nashville Style

Are You Committed? Or Just…Interested?

Audible Retail Samples: Why They Suck And Why It Doesn’t Really Matter

How To Voice Copy That’s Set In Italics

Dyslexia, And The Palindromic Poem. The Wha?

Increase Your Chances Of Being Seen And Heard On Facebook

Jamie Has Some Thoughts About Fiverr

Is Simply Discouraging Distracted Driving Enough?

“Young People Are Just Smarter.”

The Real Purpose Of The “Can You Hear Me?” Phone Scam

Beware Of Overkill

Laying Down The Perfect Slate

An AMA Preview: The Word “Ethnic” – A Slur, Or An Essential Adjective?

10 Rules of Profitable Self Discipline from Napoleon Hill

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 1)

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 2)

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 3)

AMA (Ask Me Anything): Here Are The Answers (Part 4)

AMA Answers Part 5 Plus A Medical Warning

Last AMA Answers (#6): Gear, Services and Success

A 7-Word Reminder: “Don’t correct people when it matters little.”

Do You Have A Plan? And Is It The Right One?

What’s Your Next Big Move? Are You Ready?

Build Your Future On Your Own Platform, Not Someone Else’s

I’m Leaving Facebook: Why Groups and FB Live No Longer Spark Joy

Time To Accept That I’ve Failed At Something – Happily

Crowdfunding Without The Internet: Pulitzer And The Statue Of Liberty

The Amazing Power Of Recognition And Badging

Might We Have A Possible Cause For Alzheimer’s?

Why Podcasting And Radio Are Out Of Whack

Value Enthusiasm, But Value Persistence More

Ten Ways To Make Money With Podcasts Besides Ads

One Quick Question To Find Out How Important Something Actually Is

The Workflow For Producing These Videos (So Far) Part 1

Why Not Wade? And…Why Not You?

Audiobook Narrators: How Paymasters Work, And The One I Recommend

Why Gen Z And Millennials’ Love For Audiobooks Is Crucial

American Idol: It’s All About Story, Not Just Singing

Less Beating Yourself Up, More Talking Yourself Up

Resist Oversharing. Instead, Start A Dialogue.

Vocal Care: It’s All About What Works For You

3 Biases You Should Be Aware Of

3 More Biases You Should Also Be Aware Of

Wow. People Really Grokked Biases. Let’s Tackle Fallacies.

Three More Fallacies You Need To Watch For

What’s Your Imprint?

Fallacy Follies, Volume 3

Two Last Big Creativity-Crippling Fallacies

Fail Sooner To Succeed Sooner

A New Lead Source For Performers: Voice Assistants And Smart Speakers

A Great Way To Handle Trolls and Haters

Quantity Does Not Usually Equal Quality

Is Facebook Truly A Monopoly? No More Than Microsoft Was.

Fear Of The Unknown, Or The Day Before My Surgery

A Strange Aspect To Performing That Should Be Cause For Protest, But Isn’t

Want To Grow? Don’t Go It Alone.

How Am I Doing? I’m Gobsmacked. That’s How Am I Doing.

Why I Give My Agents 10% Of Everything

Not Just Explainer Videos, But Video That Explain Things Spectacularly

Mental Floss To The Rescue: Skills You Can Pick Up On YouTube

What’s Better Than Willpower? Grit.

Regarding Apple’s App Store: Be Careful What You Wish For, Pepper

Of COURSE You Wonder What Porter’s Five Forces Are. Who Doesn’t?

Don’t Waste Your Time: Talk Shows Aren’t Meant To Be Fair

Sooner Or Later, I’m Really Going To Tick You Off

Just Because You Can Do Something Doesn’t Mean You Should

Wait, What? Audacity Records In The Background?!

Enjoy Your First Booking. Pay Close Attention To The Next Three.

Pattern Interruption And The Musicality Of Voice Over

Do You Still Have A Landline? Is It POTS? Wait, What’s POTS?

Increase Your VO Accuracy, And You’ll Increase Your VO Profits

Age Range Isn’t Really A Valid Metric For VO

What Is The Overton Window?

How To Stop Jealousy From Killing Your Progress

Even The Bible (And Game Of Thrones) Has One-Star Reviews

How Much Is Enough To Make Per Hour?

With Royalty Share Plus, ACX Makes Hybrid Stipends Official

Wait, Vices Can Be Good For Your Health?

What A Lovely Thing To Discover: Praise From CourVO

I Figured Out What I Provide: The Onboarding Performers Don’t Get

You Don’t Need Permission To Care Or Contribute

It’s Not Just You. It’s The Superstars, Too.

Do You Sometimes Think Irrationally? Maybe. Here’s How To Stop It.

The Struggle Of Announcer-y Versus Non-Announcer-y Voice Over

How My VAs Support Me And My Team

What Exactly Is “The Cloud?”

The Often “Most Difficult” Concept I Teach

Please Unsubscribe From This List. But Don’t Do This One Destructive, Lazy Thing.

Don’t Mistake The Joy Of Knowing For The Joy Of Doing

Why Giving Yourself Some Simple Homework Can Be Life-Changing

One Weird Trick I Do That Makes My Note-Taking Superhuman

The Worst Thing About The Biggest Money-Making Entertainment Category

What Can We Grab From A Schedule This Strict?

Get Better At Executing Today’s Plan By Starting Last Night

How To Create Useful, Organized Audition File Names

Where To Find Related PDFs For Audiobooks on Audible

I’m Halfway Finished. What Have You Valued Most? What Can I Do Better?

Our Digital Attention Span Is Incredibly Brief

“Serves You Right!” She Actually Has No Idea How Right.

Create A Safe Environment For Self-Improvement

Why I Use One Single Channel For Crucial Communication

The Even Cheaper AT-2020 USB Plus Microphone?

Fred Willard (and Billy West) On Quickly Creating Authentic VO Characters

Leo Makes Your Searching Spectacular

On Asking For Things Performers Can’t Do

How To Battle The Urge of “Efficiency”

One More Best-Of-Breed Way To Brilliantly Complain

Changing Audacity’s Sampling Rate To 48,000 Hz

10 Words Of Encouragement When You’re Stuck

Seek/Give Mentorship That’s Appropriate To The Journey

Two Cases Where You Might Not Want To Simply “Follow Your Passion”

Having Fun With Headphone Volume

Please Stop Rushing To Perform

Something To Consider: Everyone’s Internal Menu

One Crazy Key To Creativity: Pure, Unadulterated Boredom

For The Sheer Joy Of It

The Most Commonly Consumed Media Is…!

What’s Dangerous For Us To Care About

Please, Clever Copywriters…Stop Using This Term

Wait, Wait…What? They Actually Listened?!

Why You Should Take The Same Classes Twice

How Your Character’s Menu Informs Your Performance Choices

What Shouldn’t Be Your Metric For VO Success

Someone Awesome Who’s Also Rising To A 365-Day Challenge

Union Or Not, Start With Union Rates

O. M. G. Look What Matt Zurbo Did!

So Where Will That Huge Facebook Fine End Up?

The Root Words of “Typecast”

Avoid That One Obvious “That Worked” Sound We Make

Why Union Members Can Audition For Non-Union Work

200 Auditions. 1 Booking. A Ghost. Really?

I Can’t Do One Thing I’m Asked To Do Every Single Day

One Of Your Secret Weapons: Agility

Do Networking Events Make You Anxious? Let’s Fix That.

Project X Is Just About Ready. I’m A Bit Giddy.

The Difference Between Mansplaining and Advice?

Too Late, Melissa. You Already Are.

Help Me Solve A Lovely Mystery!

Speeding Up The Playback On The Audible App

Why Those Other Casting Sites Usually Aren’t Worth It

Raw YouTube Captioning

hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
and something came up
in a recent Pro Connect live session
it’s our monthly accountability and
business support meeting that we have
with all of our lovely pros on vo to go
go calm the people that are building
successful voice-over careers and we
take this time once a month to talk
about our businesses rather than the art
of how to do commercials all right we
talk about how to build businesses the
technology things like that lots of
really great things came up things about
websites and things about agent meetings
and in that comment about agent meetings
a something was shared that really stuck
for me because it’s a lesson that I need
to keep learning over and over and over
again apparently my skull is so thick
that it doesn’t take so I’m making a
video about it because as you know the
best way to learn something is to teach
it to somebody else so over the time
that we were taking comments and so on
one of our pros said hey I had a meeting
with a new agent I landed the agent and
one of the things that the agent said to
me was in my cold submission to her that
I didn’t tell her my whole life story
and man did that resonate with me she
just did a really short sweet here’s top
three things I’ve just done and I’d love
to meet with you and that was that and
it’s funny because we’ve done a coaching
session and I talked about being brief
and letting the agent do most of the
talking and asking questions and so on
and when she said that it brought up a
whole bunch of stuff inside me and that
was that throughout my life I have
always had to resist the urge to
overshare when I first meet somebody you
know somebody you meet them for the
first time and say so what do you do and
I’m really well I’m an actor I’m a
voice-over talent I’m a technologist I
have an app you know like like vomiting
this information on people and they’re
like okay enough just and and it’s a
thing that I really need to be careful
of my pro had it down you know and she
by the way she landed the agent which
was kind of cool she nailed the meeting
she landed the agent she’s now being
rapped by them which is fantastic but
this idea that when you first meet
someone you have to share with them
everything so they have all the
information all the tools you know
you’re trying to avoid the situation
where somebody says to you two months
down the line why didn’t you tell me
that when we first met don’t worry about
that I’ve got an alternative for you
that is really useful and and this this
happens all the time I mean it was
happening to me until about maybe six
months ago when I realized I was doing
the exact same thing to people who were
linking in with me on LinkedIn my
response to them and on Facebook my
response to them was this big long multi
paragraph response it’s like you know
did you want to link in because I was on
heroes’ did you want to link in because
I’m an actor because I’m a coach because
I have rehearsal Pro what is it that you
mean you know and it was all of these
things you know I want to help that’s
why I’m here and that’s the truth
but it wasn’t necessary for me to share
all of that at
once in the very first response so now
what I respond with is what I’d like to
suggest you consider and that is I
respond very simply with hey thanks for
for linking in with me can you tell me
why you did was it acting was it
voiceover what was it that’s it and even
that I think I could pair out the acting
voiceover get rid of that but you know I
just want to I want to sort of guide
people towards what I’m looking for
which is to start a dialogue you know
people connect with each other in person
online all the time and by the way if
you know this person that comes back to
me says oh you look like a nice American
man who is looking for love well I know
to click the disconnect button right but
if somebody says I wanted to connect
with you because of voiceover if I can’t
tell from their profile if they’re
already a voice-over talent
I’ll ask well are you already working in
voiceover as a sales person or as a car
dealer or whatever you’re doing for your
day job or are you looking to train in
that and again leaving it at that if
they then say I’d love to train in
voiceover I respond with hey well that’s
great there’s this free class that I
offer that you might find interesting I
give them the URL and that’s that all of
this is really difficult for me because
I want to make sure that everybody has
the tools they need and you know
learning this lesson over and over has
been a life’s work for me don’t over
share especially in the first or second
meeting just start a dialogue start a
conversation ask a probing question that
isn’t too invasive you know so tell me
about why you thought it would be a
great idea to have a conversation or or
what brought you to the party or you
know what do you what do you love about
what you do you know you don’t want to
get into a situation where you have to
say the phrase gosh I feel like I’m
rambling because then means you probably
are so
even if somebody is gracious and says no
no it’s fine
you know if you if you know there’s
there’s a there’s a rule in how to win
friends and influence people of a hard
and fast rule about having someone else
talk about themselves and how much they
love that because not because people
love to boast but because you don’t get
a chance that often you don’t get a
chance you’re not usually asked about
yourself you just you have to kind of
like help other people understand you so
in that case be spare be light ask a
question start a conversation start a
dialogue you know I’ve I said it earlier
you know you don’t want to vomit
information all over somebody you know
it’s not it’s not helpful it’s not
giving them all the tools they need it
can be very confusing and what I found
is that my response rate from those
initial links and the initial
conversations that I have with people at
in real life events at IRL of it IRL
events is much higher you know really
tell me about yourself or Wow what
brought you here today or how do you
know the host of the of the event those
things you know they shouldn’t have
taken me this long in my life to learn
and I’m sure I’ll have to learn them
more how about you is this a lesson that
you learned a long time ago and been
putting into practice or is this
something that like gosh I didn’t know
that or I know that but I don’t really
give me a comment let me know what you
think about this how does this apply to
comment below if you’re on vo – go go
comm if you’re not on vo – go go comm if
you’re watching this anywhere else pop
over there because the conversation is
moderated and it’s calm and it’s
respectful and we love it and tell me
what you think about this tell me let’s
let’s start a dialogue let’s start a
conversation if you’d like to join my
youtube channel subscribe to it and get
notified whenever these new videos come
out we’re doing one a day for the entire
year it’s the challenge that I’m
involved with go ahead and click on my
head if there’s no head there then look
for a subscribe button somewhere on the
page if you want to see the latest video
that I’ve
click on that frame and YouTube will
play it for you I’m David H Lawrence
xvii I thank you so much for watching
and I will talk to you tomorrow.

5 Responses to Resist Oversharing. Instead, Start A Dialogue.

  1. David Wandelt May 6, 2019 at 2:19 am #

    Yeah, this one seriously resonates with me. It’s only later in life that I’ve come to see how over-verbalizing isn’t helpful. In fact, it just produces a glassy look in most people. It’s really, I think, a matter of knowing your audience. A minority of people will follow you, and find the information interesting, and possibly valuable. But most hear the first little bit and start thinking about their response long before you’ve finished your long info-dump. Use their facial expression as your feedback loop!

  2. Richard Rieman May 6, 2019 at 6:51 am #

    Great point, David. That’s all I’m going to say :-)

  3. Stephanie May 6, 2019 at 7:05 am #

    Great lesson. I am working on this too. My hubby, on the other hand, is a master of communication. He is truly amazing at it. Of course, it does help that he has a degree in psychology. I’ve learned so much about first interactions and building relationships by watching how he does it. He gets people to open up with just one question and is able to discern their patterns and decide if this will be a good thing to pursue. I normally don’t do that and give it all up in the first meeting which doesn’t work out well in the long term. He takes his time, gets to know the other person first, what they want, need, desire. He also sets fantastic boundaries in the first meeting. He does it with grace so the person doesn’t feel hurt or insulted. He just sticks with his truth and moves from there. In business, this has been a fantastic tool. He is able to see problems before they start and not continue to down that path. I’m still learning these techniques but I’ve already have seen how helpful it is to move slowly and let the “other person talk” as he always tells me. Get to know them and their patterns so you can be a valuable long term commodity not just give it all up in the first few minutes of meeting.

  4. Tom j Dolan May 6, 2019 at 11:47 am #

    “over share” encapsulates the all to familiar situation I’ve often placed myself in. Great reminder David! Thanx.

  5. Veleka May 6, 2019 at 5:09 pm #

    David, in my acting classes, I require that my students create a brief Personal Commercial. Been doing this for nearly thirty years after a producer once told me he tuned out after twenty seconds. My students have exact points to hit, which change according to their experience,

    My specialty as a coach is helping shy people come out of their shells so they can easily connect with their chosen community and get the respect they deserve. And should I move back to Los Angeles, I plan to teach my method there, too. It works. :)

Leave a Reply