Less Beating Yourself Up, More Talking Yourself Up

Hey there!

A couple of studies have recently come to light that show a direct correlation between how much we believe in ourselves and how successful we are at what we attempt.

That’s very different from the typical self talk you probably give yourself about not being able to do something, being poor at execution or not having a chance.

Instead, studies show saying the opposite to yourself works better most of the time.

Except for one glaring exception.

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Raw YouTube Captioning

hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
I am wondering what kind of
conversations you’ve had with yourself
today or yesterday or what you plan on
having with yourself tomorrow how often
do you beat yourself up rather than talk
yourself up give yourself a boost a
confidence a positive self-talk moment
right so I was reading an article by
Debb noblemen over at the startup on
medium and she talked about two studies
one was a study and one was a study of
studies so there was a study by a
Stanford professor by the name of dr.
Albert bandura and he says that
self-efficacy which is what he calls it
being able to tell yourself you are able
to do things makes all the difference in
the world it allows you to create
systems where you’re relying on yourself
rather than beating yourself down and
starting from less than zero that’s what
his study was and then there was a study
from UW University of Wisconsin
professor there by the name of Alex stay
Kovac I hope I’m pronouncing that right
sty Kovac and he studied twenty-one
other studies and came to the conclusion
that there is a strong correlation
between positive self-talk and success
and the converse a very strong
correlation between negative self-talk
and failure negative self-talk and not
getting the success that you want now
failure is not a bad thing but when you
caused it
by telling yourself you can’t do
something that’s not very valuable right
so overall his his look at all the
numbers and all these different studies
said that if you even just say to
yourself I believe that I can do this I
and do this I’ve done it in the past
I’ll do it again I can do it again
this doesn’t look that hard I can
probably do this I this is a snap right
I why not me right so except you might
be saying yourself but wait a minute
David because that’s my name you might
be saying to yourself
aren’t you the guy that follows Michael
Koster offs rule of when you walk into
the audition space saying to yourself
I’m not getting the effing job anyway
yeah I am but I don’t look at that as a
stick I look at that as a tremendous
carrot because it’s not saying I can’t
do well at the audition what it’s saying
is don’t have false hope that you can
control any of what’s gonna happen after
you do your work right there’s so many
things that are beyond your control it’s
not even a question
it’s proven there’s like 90 decisions a
second that are made after you do your
audition that you have no control over
whatsoever and 99 times out of andra on
average when it comes to union workers
you’re not getting the job so the
numbers bear that out it’s just a fact
it’s not negative self-talk
I don’t say to myself well you suck as
an actor so you’re not getting the job
what I’m saying is I’m not even gonna
count on the possibility or waste any
time hoping or praying that I’m gonna
get the job or think that if I do
something you know special or different
or bold that I’m going to make the
difference in all the decisions that
people make you know I went in for an
audition just today and it was an
audition and I thought well you know I
did pretty good at that I’m not getting
the job but you know and it’s great
because I got a callback but I know I’m
not getting the job you know as as as
sure as the day is long I’m not getting
the job and if for some reason somebody
in the decision stream makes a really
really bad Jerr error in judgment
and I do get the job well I win either
way either I was right and I didn’t get
the job or I was wrong I was very wrong
and I get to go work so that to me is
not a stick that’s a carrot so less
stick more carrot I say let’s do it
Thank You Deb noblemen I appreciate that
but I wonder how you feel about this do
you find yourself just talking yourself
down all the time or are you one of
these people that has an amazing amount
of self efficacy knowledge and
understanding that you can do these
things maybe you’re not successful all
the time but you’re capable of doing it
tell me what kind of talk goes through
your head when you’re about to do
something that might be a little
difficult might be new let me know in
the comments below if you’re watching
this anywhere but be odigo go calm hop
on over there vo to go go calm and the
conversation there is very sane very
nice very polite not always the case on
other social media but go over there
we’ve got all kinds of great stuff for
you and tell me let me know what you
think about all that if you’d like to
subscribe to my youtube channel go ahead
and click on my face there if there’s no
face there’s a subscribe button
somewhere below this video if you want
to see the latest video I’ve done you
click on that frame and YouTube will
play it for you I’m David H Lawrence
xvii I appreciate you watching and I
will talk to you tomorrow.

8 Responses to Less Beating Yourself Up, More Talking Yourself Up

  1. Paula Faye Leinweber May 5, 2019 at 9:33 am #

    I firmly and totally believe this is true! It has been my experience throughout my life as well, that staying positive in my thoughts and self-talk makes a huge difference in ME. Whether it changes the outcome; maybe it doesn’t, but many many times it does. Most people would rather be connected with a positive person than a negative one. It shows when you are positive about yourself and when you are not. Thanks David!

  2. Chris Ansoff May 5, 2019 at 10:46 am #

    David, this area has been a big area of learning for me. I struggle with having negative thoughts enter my mind when I am getting ready to do something new, different, potentially challenging. I do find working on having positive thoughts to start my day really helps my mind set for the rest of the day.

  3. Chris Buckner May 5, 2019 at 4:35 pm #

    I’m shooting another scene tomorrow for my first on-camera job. The last couple days I’ve been telling myself, “you can do this,” “you’ve done this before,” “you’ll do a good job.” Building myself up is a very good practice to get into. Thanks for the video David.

  4. Mary Zajac May 5, 2019 at 5:04 pm #


    That was me today!! A real Debbie Downer. That you for the uplifting pep talk. I will work on this!

  5. Mary Zajac May 5, 2019 at 5:06 pm #

    I meant to write thank you! Damn autocorrect.

  6. Thomas Varhol May 7, 2019 at 7:00 am #

    I know this is totally not PC today, but when do any vo audition I touch base with God and thank HIM for the talent given me, to guide my voice performance to be what the jobs needs and to help me be successful in my endeavors. There are many times during my day when I think about things that are personal, financial and work related. Any time I’m unsure, I just return to my “touchstone” for inspiration and reinforcement.
    Not trying to sell anything here…it’s just what I do. T

  7. Trenton Bennett May 23, 2019 at 9:43 am #

    I feel like this video is Mister Rogers for grown-ups. It gave me a good feeling to listen to it. :)

  8. Kendra Hoffman May 30, 2019 at 10:58 pm #

    I don’t usually do much talking to myself at all *before* an event (audition, work, social engagement, etc.). My “stick” comes out afterwards, when I tend to beat myself up about what I did wrong or what I should’ve done/said.

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