Short and sweet today…I want to talk about the fear of failure. And so, let’s.
And not just the fear of failure itself, and the emotions failure can generate, but also what to think about failure instead, and the value it can provide. Hopefully, I can give you an alternative value for the failures we face in life.
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Hope this helps!
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Yeah, you can’t take failure as an indicator that it characterizes me. Losing a job doesn’t make you “a failure.” It only makes you more experienced than *before* you failed! Learn, and get stronger!
Fear of failure!!!!! Brings up ” The feeling” I can,t do it” “I don’t,t know how to” I am overcome with the feeling of helplessness,hopelessness and the feeling is deeply wedged in my body.. I revert back to the feelings of a very young child who has no control of its responses and no nurturing parent or adult to see me through, ask me questions.. I have learnt to survive, but not to thrive. I am learning to mother and father this inner child, but skills are limited to the teaching and learning that I experience now. It is a slow process. the fear continues to rear it,s fearful face. Thank you David, for asking the question.
I constantly stop and start doing things that are “new” to me. I doubt I’m doing the right things. Your video reminded me that if I’m nevery “failing” I’m not growing or trying new things. Not failing is a bad thing. Thanks David.
David I used to fear failure when I thought It was unjust. I now can feel the pain of someone else’s loss or failure. I still am haunted by reviewing my many failures more than I should, however I know that there is always something to be learned from them and that keeps the glass half full, the window ajar, the door open! If you were to review my life’s story one could label it as a failure. Why then am I taking this leap of faith again in myself, because I know that I love what I do and the impossible dream is still alive. http://www.clarkable.net
David, once again you have raised an excellent point for discussion and thought. You are so right about not fearing failure, but learning from it and accepting it. Brings to mind when I was learning to ski many years ago, my sister told me not to fear falling down as that is where you learn more than just standing on your skis. I have learned a lot from my failures in the past, and look on them as learning experiences, not failures. Yet the perfectionist in me still hates the thought of failure…probably pretty common. Thank you for broaching this “uncomfortable” subject.
Thank you for all your video’s. Failure hmmmmmm! I may be the odd bird here, I don’t take failure as a OMG! I did t get it! I am sad for a moment and then try to move forward. I’m not sure I really u dersta d the WHY’s as there are so many. I do t fear failure , I do t like it but I’m not sure I have disected the process. I usually shrug it off and onto the next opportunity. Am I missing out on an opportunity to learn. I’m not judgemental so I figure they saw something in someone else. This industry sometmes is all about failure, favorites, timing, Luck, etc.
Your thoughts are appreciated. Heather
That’s one of the best descriptions of how to view failure, especially as a performer, that I’ve seen!
I look at failure kind of the way you do. I was educated (granted I ran out of money and had to leave after my first year) as an artist in two and three dimensional media – paint and sculpture. Failure is the only way to learn your craft in art school because until you train your brain to the concepts of those media, your failure is a given in most of the projects you start. Also failure means not only the you learned but that YOU DID. How many people sit and think, I wish I could…. and then don’t because of fear of one kind or another? Failure means you actually DID whatever it is at which you failed which in itself is a gorgeous blessing in itself. You DID and maybe it didn’t work the way you had hoped, but if you don’t ask and you don’t try you have Failed to Do, which is even more of a tragedy.
I fear failure off and on. Sometimes I jump right in with no fear and go for it. Other times, I become frozen with a fear that isn’t clear. It just holds me back from starting. Once I start I’m usually good to go and can work through any roadblocks. It is that starting point that is unknown and seems scary. Most of the time it isn’t. I have a huge project that I’ve put off for 2 years now that I just need to start.
“If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.”
Thomas J. Watson, founder of IBM.
Fear of failure brings up another limiting belief….”I’d rather play small than play big and fail.” When it comes down to it, the reason why I love performing and telling stories is bc I can be as big as I want to be. The more I learn to not fear what I love….the more I can welcome the failures with BIG open arms for the better. It’s easier said than done, but as I incorporate your advice to make bolder choices faster, I find that I am becoming more comfortable woh and even having a little bit of dare I say…fun…failing. My most recent example of this was making a bold character choice in my first audiobook. I had to voice an alien. And even though I had to re do all of the chapters he spoke in due to some clarity issues…once I found his voice was when I really started having fun with the book.
Failure may not be the correct term. I have viewed failure as, to paraphrase Thomas Edison, finding another way how not to do something. Actors especially take not getting a role as failure. Unless you are actively sabotaging an audition, you are not failing. You are simply not what they were looking for. this applies to other aspects in life and it is, to me, much easier to adopt the feeling that I am not failing but not what the other person is looking for.
I can see that past failures have stopped me and made me give up something I wanted to accomplish. Should keep going, but first learn from it so as not to repeat.